10 Notable South Africanisms

With each passing day South Africa feels less and less foreign. While there many differences that I have long since gotten used to, there will always be little behaviors, words, and phenomena reminding me that I’m a stranger in a strange land.  
Here are a few for you to ponder:

10. Corollary and Capillary
First, say these words to yourself: Corollary. Capillary.
Now say them as a South African would: “core-all-a-ree” and “ca-pill-a-ree”.
Huh? Sounds weird, doesn’t it?

9. Lekker
Afrikaans for cool or good. Pronounced “Lak-ah”.
Such as: “We went to a lekker show last night.”
Or: “How are you doing, man? I’m lekker, bru, and you?”
I have yet to work this word into my vocabulary. I’m sure that one day it’ll slip unexpectedly out of my mouth and totally surprise me.

8. The word “useless”
Not a week goes by where I don’t hear people, laws, stop lights, and entire institutions described as useless. The go-to adjective to express frustration that things aren’t going your way.

7. Swimming pools
Most moderately sized houses in Joburg have pools. A friend was house-hunting recently and could not find a single home that met her specifications that didn’t have one. The funny thing is, it’s not blazing hot here. In LA heat waves would cause the corners of the pictures on the walls to curl up. In Joburg our pictures stay flat - proof that this climate is easily survivable without a pool. But of course, survivable and fun are two different things.

6. Fruits and vegetables wrapped in plastic
90% of produce comes shrink wrapped in plastic, and more often than not, also in a plastic or styrofoam container. Today I went to the market and got a single cucumber wrapped in plastic and a cabbage set on a styrofoam tray and then shrink wrapped. You know what I call that? Useless.

5. Small refrigerators and cabinet-like freezers
If I see a full size fridge or one with double doors I think, “Ooh, it’s an American style fridge!” Fridges are smaller here, which is good for me because I have a bad habit of filling one full and then slowly allowing food to go bad. I still do it, just hopefully now in slightly smaller quantities. Also, open up the freezer (the “deep freeze”) and you’re probably going to see a solid wall of drawers (like this). I find it odd.

4. Tea as a human right
You will never enter an office building without a tea station. You will never attend a meeting longer than 4 hours without a tea break and full tea service (tea, milk, sugar, and likely small snacks). Hell, even professional cricket games break for tea! And when you order tea in a restaurant you get it with your choice of hot or cold milk. After 2 years of daily tea drinking I still don’t have a real preference on this one.

3. The ability to read a fire
South Africans love their fires. Take a tried-and-true South African, march him (yep, him) 50 feet from the fire, and he’ll read it like a book. He’ll tell you how hot it is, if it needs more wood, how long until you can put the meat on, and when the meat will be done. And then he’ll walk back and cook up a delicious meal.

2. Communication struggles as a part of life
In the US non-native English speakers are also a regular part of the fabric, but in SA where the  majority of people are non-native speakers it’s a whole different ball game. Combine that with my own foreign accent and it makes for a ton of interactions that suffer a bit of miscommunication. Sitting down in a restaurant in the US and ordering a glass of water without a moment of hesitation from me or the waiter is a wonderful feeling.

1. A maid and a gardener
Thanks to Thuly and Elijah, whose hard work and kindness we deeply appreciate, we have a clean house and a verdant garden. But I can count on my fingers the number of times I’ve had to scrub a toilet, change sheets, dust, iron, wash the windows, mow the grass, or prune a tree in two years. And guess what? I don’t miss it one bit.

Thanks for keeping me on my toes, South Africa.